Life has a unique way of taking someone whom you hold close to your heart, in the blink of an eye. Leaving you heartbroken and confused. It puts a gut wrenching feeling in your stomach that sparks all kinds of questions. Why them? Why now?
I experienced loosing a family member for the first time one year ago today. At 8:30 am on the morning of December 14, 2009 god graciously guided my aunt Pam up to heaven. The H1N1 virus being his method. For two solid weeks she fought on life support. She was the sickest person in the entire hospital. A special machine known as an oscillator was brought to her bed side (the only one available in north west Florida in fact) in hopes of being her saving grace, but fate had already run its course. It was her time to go, weather we approved or not. Regardless of how young she was, or how much of her being she gave to her family and the lord, she had to go.
The holidays are always an emotional time. It amplifies that I miss you everyday feeling to I miss you every minute. I wish you were here. Right by my side. To laugh with, to cry with, to hold me in your arms and assure me that everything will be alright. It is hard to make sense of it all. How incredibly sick you became in such a short time, how hard you fought with every breath. You are truly my hero aunt Pam. I feel you shinning down upon our family everyday. I know the holiday season will be no different. If I could ask for one thing, please look over mom and aunt Kim, they need you the most. You were their sister, the best one anyone could ask for in fact. You gave so much to our family. Your heart was filled with love and compassion without a single dash of hate or animosity. I know god is taking special care of you up there. You are our angel aunt Pam, our heart and soul. Save me a spot up there baby girl, we have many football games to watch together still. I love you with every single inch of my heart, forever in my thoughts. 12/14/09 <333
